How to Give Feedback to Coworkers and Friends
The Art of Giving Feedback: A Pathway to Growth
This past weekend, I had a lively lunch with friends that eventually steered toward a topic we often tiptoe around: feedback. What started as a discussion about workplace dynamics seamlessly transitioned into the broader, yet equally significant, realm of personal feedback among friends and family.
The Comfort of Silence
Let's face it, avoiding feedback is easier. It spares us the discomfort and the potential awkwardness. One friend aptly summed it up, saying, "If I am giving you feedback, it means I care about you." This sentiment highlights a fundamental truth about feedback: it’s an act of care and investment in someone's growth.
Feedback in the Workplace
In professional settings, giving and receiving feedback can feel daunting. As a recipient, reframing the feedback can change your perspective. Instead of viewing it as criticism, consider it as a sign that someone sees your potential and believes you are coachable. This tweak in mindset can help mitigate the initial sting and turn the feedback into a growth opportunity.
For those in leadership, providing feedback is part of your role in coaching and developing your team. If the prospect of delivering feedback fills you with dread, reframe it as an act of support. Your goal is to help someone become the best version of themselves, and your guidance is crucial in this journey.
Personal Feedback from Friends and Family
Outside the professional sphere, our friends and family play a pivotal role in our personal development. They can offer valuable perspectives that we might overlook. Whether it’s about quitting a job that's making us miserable or acknowledging the excuses we make to stay in a stagnant situation, true friends will hold up a mirror to our lives and encourage us to take necessary steps forward.
The Power of Clarity
Brene Brown’s wisdom, encapsulated in the phrase “Clear is kind,” resonates deeply when it comes to feedback. Being clear ensures that the message is understood, and both parties leave the conversation with a mutual understanding of what needs to happen for success.
Delivering Effective Feedback
The challenge lies not just in hearing feedback but in delivering it in a way that it can be effectively received. Radical candor is not measured at the speaker's mouth but at the listener's ear. Feedback given without care can be hurtful rather than helpful.
Before delivering feedback, consider the following:
Tone: Is your tone open, clear, and kind?
Context: Are you providing enough context for the feedback?
Timeliness: Are you giving feedback promptly?
Intentions: Are your intentions to help the person succeed?
Reflecting on Your Feedback Skills
Ask yourself, do you consider yourself good at giving feedback? Do you see it as a gift? Mastering the art of feedback involves seeing it as a constructive tool for growth, both for the giver and the receiver. When done with care and clarity, feedback can be one of the most powerful catalysts for personal and professional development.
By embracing feedback as an act of care and a pathway to growth, we can foster environments—both at work and in our personal lives—where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
